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Umurnin zamaninmu shine "Ku dubi komai da kyakkyawan fata!". Rashin lafiya shine dalilin kasancewa tare da dangin ku kuma ku ji goyon bayan ƙaunatattunku, korarriyar wata dama ce ta koyi sabon ƙwarewa ... Amma idan mun, ƙoƙarin ganin abubuwan da ke cikin komai, a zahiri ba mu yarda da kanmu don samun kwanciyar hankali ba. ?
Mota ta lalace? Don haka yafi kyau: yayin da nake jira motar ja, ina da lokaci don kaina. Murkushe a cikin jirgin karkashin kasa? Sa'a, na yi kewar ɗan adam sosai. Akwai mutane masu ban mamaki waɗanda ke fahimtar komai da kyau. Kamar dai akwai wani abu mai kyau a cikin kowace matsala, kuma a bayan kowane wasan kwaikwayo akwai darasi na hikima. Wadannan ban mamaki mutane, «caji» tare da fata, bayyana, wani lokacin tare da wani m murmushi, cewa za ku zama farin ciki idan kun ga kawai tabbatacce gefen duk abin da. Shin da gaske haka ne?
Kuskure suna koyarwa
“Al’ummarmu masu gasa ta tilasta mana yin ƙwazo a kowane fanni na rayuwa. Dole ne ku ƙawata har ma da ci gaba da karatun ku ta yadda zai nuna kawai ci gaba mai ƙarfi don samun nasara,” in ji masanin falsafa kuma masanin ilimin halin dan Adam Monique David-Ménard. Amma matsin lamba yana da ƙarfi sosai don ba da shawara sau da yawa yana fitowa daga mutanen da suke “siffa ta hanyar manufa ta cikakkiyar nasara” lokacin da rayuwarsu ta ruguje kwatsam saboda gazawa.
Wahalolinmu da kasawarmu suna gaya mana abubuwa da yawa game da kanmu.
Ga duk halayensu, ba su koyi fuskantar lokutan baƙin ciki ba kuma su faɗi cikin damuwa. "Abin baƙin ciki ne, domin matsalolinmu da kasawarmu suna gaya mana abubuwa da yawa game da kanmu," in ji ta. Alal misali, ɓata dangantaka yana nuna mana cewa mun saka hannun jari sosai a wannan dangantakar, ko wataƙila muna shirye mu kasa. Godiya ga Freud, yanzu mun san cewa yunƙurin adawa - zuwa rayuwa da mutuwa, eros da thanatos - su ne wadatuwar ruhin mu. Mai da hankali ga abin da ba daidai ba shine yin tunani a kan kurakuranmu, rauninmu da tsoro, duk waɗannan fuskokin da suka ƙunshi ainihin halayenmu. Monique David-Ménard ta ce: “Akwai wani abu na musamman game da yadda muka sake samun kanmu a cikin matattu kuma,” in ji Monique David-Ménard. - Kuma a cikin wannan ya ta'allaka ne da 'yancinmu, "saboda a cikin cin nasara muna samun kayan aikin gina nasarar mu."
Hankali yana da ma'ana
Menene ji da motsin rai don? Waɗannan fitilu ne na sigina a cikin zukatanmu, suna cewa wani abu yana faruwa da mu, "in ji masanin ilimin Gestalt Elena Shuvarikova. “Lokacin da muke cikin haɗari, muna jin tsoro; idan muka rasa, mukan ji bakin ciki. Kuma ta hanyar hana kanmu jin wani abu, ba mu sami mahimman bayanai daga jiki ba. Kuma ta haka ne muka rasa damar ci gaban namu, mun rasa hulɗa da kanmu. Ayyukan psychotherapy shine don ba abokin ciniki damar ganin yadda lamarin ya shafe shi, da kuma abin da yake amsawa yana nufin yanayin da ya gabata, don koya masa ya amsa daidai da lokacin da ake ciki.
"Tunani mai yawa yana hana mu daidaitawa ga halin da ake ciki yanzu", - Elena Shuvarikova tabbata. Don kada mu fuskanci abin da ke yi mana barazana ko tsoratarwa, mun ƙi ganin abin da ke damun mu sosai. Muna tausasa lamarin domin mu kwantar da hankali na ɗan lokaci, amma a gaskiya muna tafiya zuwa ga bala'i. Bayan haka, duk yadda ka gaya wa kanka cewa hanyar madaidaiciya ce, idan aka bi ta, za ka tashi zuwa gefen titi. Ko, kamar yadda malamin Indiya Swami Prajnanpad ya koyar, aikin da ya dace shine "ce eh ga abin da ke." Ikon ganin halin da ake ciki kamar yadda yake ba ku damar samun albarkatun da suka dace kuma kuyi zabi mai kyau.
Ikon ganin halin da ake ciki kamar yadda yake ba ku damar samun albarkatun da suka dace kuma kuyi zabi mai kyau.
“Tunani mai kyau, kamar munanan tunani, hanyoyi biyu ne masu haɗari, marasa amfani, Monique David-Ménard ta nuna. "Saboda na farko, muna ɗaukar kanmu masu iko, muna ganin rayuwa a cikin launi mai launi, mun gaskata cewa komai mai yiwuwa ne, kuma na ƙarshe ya sa mu raunana kuma ya sanya mu ga gazawa." A cikin duka biyun, mun kasance m, ba mu ƙirƙira ko ƙirƙirar wani abu ba, ba ma ba da kanmu damar sake yin duniyar da ke kewaye da mu. Ba mu saurare mu motsin zuciyarmu, da kuma sosai kalmar «motsi» ke komawa zuwa Latin exmover — «don sa a gaba, don zumudi»: wannan shi ne abin da mobilizes mu, tura mu zuwa mataki.
Ambivalence yana sa ku girma
Wani lokaci abin da ake buƙata na zamani don yin riya cewa duk yana da kyau ana amfani da shi don "neutralize" mai shiga tsakani a cikin zance wanda ya zama mai tsanani. Akwai sanannen magana "Kada ku gaya mani game da matsalar, amma ku ba da mafita ga shi", wanda, rashin alheri, yawancin shugabanni suna son maimaitawa da yawa.
Matsalar ita ce, akwai zargi a bayansa: yi ƙoƙari, ku kasance masu ƙwarewa, sassauƙa, da rayuwa! Boris, mai shekaru 45, ma'aikacin tallace-tallace, ya fusata: "Shugabanmu ya gaya mana "labari mai kyau": ba za a yi korar aiki ba… muddin mun amince da rage albashi. Ya kamata mu yi farin ciki." An zargi wadanda suka kuskura su nuna rashin adalci da zagon kasa ga kungiyar. Halin da ake ciki yana da kyau. Kyakkyawar tunani yana ƙaryata tsarin tunani mai rikitarwa. Idan muna tunanin hadaddun, zamu yi la'akari da abubuwa masu cin karo da juna kuma muna cikin yanayin rashin daidaituwa, lokacin da zabin koyaushe yana da alaƙa kuma ya dogara da mahallin. Kuma babu amsa guda ɗaya daidai.
Guje wa matsalolin, kallon abubuwa kawai daga gefen tabbatacce - matsayi na jarirai
Elena Shuvarikova ta yi imanin cewa, "Kaurace wa matsaloli, kallon abubuwa kawai daga gefen tabbatacce shine matsayi na jarirai." - Masanan ilimin halayyar dan adam suna kiran hawaye da baƙin ciki "bitamin girma." Sau da yawa muna gaya wa abokan ciniki: ba shi yiwuwa ya zama babba ba tare da sanin abin da yake ba, ba tare da rabuwa da wani abu ba, ba tare da kukan ku ba. Kuma idan muna son ci gaba, mu san kanmu, ba za mu iya guje wa fuskantar asara da zafi ba. Tabbas, yana da wahala, amma babu makawa kuma wajibi ne. Ba za mu iya fahimtar dukan bambance-bambancen duniya ba tare da yarda da biyuntakarta: tana da kyau da mara kyau.
Yana da na halitta damuwa
Monique David-Menard ya ce: “Tunani mai kyau zai iya kawo kwanciyar hankali, muddin ba za mu yi amfani da shi akai-akai ba. - A lokutan matsalolin tattalin arziki, muna buƙatar ƙarin kyakkyawan fata. Yana taimakawa wajen tsayayya da damuwa. Amma kyakkyawar fahimta game da halin da ake ciki kuma na iya zama gaba ɗaya bai dace ba, alal misali, lokacin da ba ma son jin gunaguni. Babu wani abu da ya bata wa abokin rai rai kamar kira don ganin alheri a rayuwa.
Wani lokaci kana buƙatar barin sha'awar rashin jin daɗi ta tafi da kanta. Ta hanyar kewayawa tsakanin manufa na dacewa da kuma tsoron rashin nasara, za mu iya ƙirƙirar samfurin nasara wanda ya ba da damar wasu gazawa.