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Littattafan masanin ilimin halin dan Adam na Ba’amurke Dale Carnegie ya zama ga yawancin Rashawa tushen ilimin farko a fagen ilimin halin dan Adam. Kuma ra'ayin cewa mutum zai iya yin nasara a kowace kasuwanci kawai godiya ga murmushi ya zama abin ban mamaki ga mazaunan duniyar bayan Soviet. Koyaya, bayan lokaci, ka'idodin Carnegie sun rasa dacewa. Me yasa hakan ya faru?
Ƙasar shawara
Muna jin yunwa don "haramta wallafe-wallafe," mun karanta littattafan Carnegie a lokacin da shahararsa a Amurka ta daɗe da wuce gona da iri. Ayyukansa mafi mahimmanci, Yadda za a lashe Abokai da Tasirin Mutane da Yadda za a Dakatar da Damuwa da Fara Rayuwa, ya bayyana a Amurka a farkon rabin karni na 1936: a cikin 1948 da XNUMX, bi da bi.
A taƙaice, shawarwari goma daga Yadda Ake Daina Damuwa da Fara Rayuwa sune kamar haka:
- Koyi yadda za a zana layi mai haske tsakanin abin da ya gabata da na gaba, barin ƙofar da ta wuce a rufe.
- Tunani da sake sake fasalin yanayin da mafi munin zai iya faruwa da tunanin hanyar fita daga gare ta.
- Koyi tunani mai kyau da aiki mai kyau.
- Koyaushe ku tuna cewa lokacin da muke jin tsoro, muna cutar da lafiyarmu.
- Idan akwai damuwa da damuwa, shiga cikin kasuwancin da zai ba ku damar shakatawa kuma ku manta da dalilin damuwa.
- Ka tuna: yuwuwar cewa matsala za ta same ka ba ta da yawa.
- Kada ku “ga sawdust”, wato, kada ku sake rayar da matsalolin da suka gabata akai-akai, amma karɓe su kuma ku bar su su tafi.
- Kada ku damu saboda ƙananan matsaloli, kawai rashin lura da su.
- Saita "iyaka" don damuwa da damuwa.
- Kada ka mai da hankali kan kanka: ka kara tunani a kan wasu, ka taimaki mutane, ka yi ayyuka nagari.
Christina ’yar shekara 49 ta ce: “Na yi magana game da aikin Dale Carnegie fiye da sau ɗaya, amma tun lokacin na karanta littattafai da yawa game da haɓaka mutumtaka da na manta da yawa,” in ji Christina ’yar shekara XNUMX. - Duk da haka, wasu shawarwarinsa - alal misali, daga littafin «Yadda za a Dakatar da Damuwa da Fara Rayuwa», har yanzu ina amfani da su. Suna taimaka mini in shawo kan shakku, damuwa, jure wa abubuwan da ba su da daɗi da kuma mawuyacin yanayi na rayuwa. ”
Gabaɗaya, hakika babu wani abu mara kyau a cikin irin wannan shawara. Duk da haka, idan kuna da ciki ko kuma wani yanayi mai wuyar gaske, yana da wuya cewa kowane ƙwararrun ƙwararrun ƙwararrun ƙwararrun ƙwararrun ƙwararrun ƙwararrun ƙwararrun ƙwararrun ƙwararrun ƙwararrun ƙwararrun ƙwararrun ƙwararrun ƙwararrun ƙwararrun za su ba da shawarar ku jimre da shi tare da taimakon tunani mai kyau da kyawawan ayyuka.
Masks suna nunawa
Carnegie ta yi jayayya cewa don yin farin ciki, kuna buƙatar samun nasara a cikin wannan sana'a, wanda ke nufin iya magana da jama'a, abokan kasuwanci masu ban sha'awa da kuma tilasta kowane mutum ya yi abin da kuke bukata.
“Ainihin, Carnegie tana koyar da abubuwan lalata – yin amfani da mutane don amfanin kanku,” in ji Daria ’yar shekara 35. “A fadin abin da suke son ji munafunci ne. Don haka, idan waɗannan littattafai sun sa wani ya zama mai daɗi da farin ciki, to, mutumin da kansa bai canza ba, amma kawai ya ɓoye nufinsa a ƙarƙashin abin rufe fuska don riba.
Masana ilimin halin dan Adam na zamani sun fi bin irin wannan ra'ayi.
"Babban ra'ayin Carnegie shine "murmushi, wasu za su so ku, kuma nasara tana jiran ku," amma idan kun yi magana kawai kamar yadda ya ba da shawara, to kuna buƙatar ku ci gaba da ɓoye a bayan facade, in ji masanin ilimin psychologist Sofya Pushkareva. - Idan kun kasance abokantaka tun daga farkon, zaku iya kulla hulɗa da wani, rage tashin hankali da ƙirƙirar yanayi don ƙarin sadarwa. Amma idan kun ci gaba a cikin ruhu ɗaya da ƙari, to wannan hanya ce ta kai tsaye zuwa neurosis.
Babban abu shine mu fahimci kanmu kamar yadda muke, kuma mu ƙyale ji daban-daban su kasance. Bayan haka, ba shi yiwuwa a faranta wa kowa rai.
Babban saƙon Carnegie shine ƙin yarda da "I" na mutum don yin sadarwa tare da wasu mutane mafi tasiri. A cikin rayuwa, wannan hanyar tana da amfani sosai: yana da daraja ba da ra'ayin ku a cikin tattaunawa kuma koyaushe ku kange kanku, kamar yadda mai shiga tsakani zai yi duk abin da kuke buƙata. Duk da haka, yana da daraja a faɗi yadda yake shafar psyche? Bayan haka, mummunan motsin zuciyar da ba su sami hanyar fita ba suna tarawa kuma sun zama sanadin damuwa.
"Ya zama cewa ba rayuwarmu muke yi ba, amma ta wani: gaba ɗaya karɓaɓɓu, na al'ada," in ji masanin ilimin ɗan adam. "Saboda haka, sakamakon irin wannan sadarwar, ana jin rashin gamsuwa, asarar kai."
"Murmushi!" ita ce shawarar Dale Carnegie da ta fi yawan maimaitawa. Mutumin mai murmushi daga "hoton" Carnegie yana da komai: iyali, aiki, nasara. Duk da haka, babu alama babu farin ciki da farin ciki: maimakon su - kadaici da damuwa.
“Yana da mahimmanci ku yi murmushi, kamar yin fushi ko kuka, lokacin da kuke jin daɗi. Babban abu shine mu fahimci kanmu kamar yadda muke, kuma mu ƙyale ji daban-daban su kasance. Bayan haka, ba zai yiwu a faranta wa kowa rai ba, ”in ji Sofya Pushkareva.