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Iyaye masu girma: uwa mai zurfi cikin tambaya
Haihuwar uwa ga wasu, kusancin uwa ga wasu… Barci tare, tsawaita shayarwa, ɗaukar majajjawa, ba ze zama al'amari ba. Shin wannan tunanin na zama uwa yana cika wa yaro da gaske? Ta yaya muka tafi daga abin koyi na mace mai aiki zuwa farfaɗo na zama uwa mai nasara? Batun mai hankali don gaskata masana da kuma shaidar da yawa na iyaye mata da ke aiki da shi…
M uwa, wani wajen m ma'anar
Waɗannan uwaye masu “halitta” uwaye ne waɗanda suka zaɓi rayuwa cikin ciki, haihuwar jaririnsu da kuma yadda suke koyar da shi tare da kalma guda ɗaya: su kasance gaba ɗaya sadaukar da ɗansu da bukatunsa. Hukuncinsu: haɗin da aka saka tare da jariri a cikin watanni na farko shine tushen tunanin da ba zai iya lalacewa ba. Sun yi imani da ba wa yaronsu tsaro na ciki na gaske, kuma wannan shine mabuɗin ma'auni na gaba. Wannan abin da ake kira keɓantacce ko haɓakar uwa yana haɓaka wasu ayyuka waɗanda ke haɓaka ƙaƙƙarfan haɗin “uwa da yaro”. Mun samu a can pell-mell: waƙa na haihuwa, haihuwa ta halitta, haihuwa gida, marigayi shayarwa, yaye dabi'a, saka jarirai, barci tare, fata-zuwa fata, diapers mai wankewa, abinci mai gina jiki, tsaftar yanayi, magani mai laushi da madadin, ilimi. ba tare da tashin hankali ba, da madadin koyarwar ilimi kamar Freinet, Steiner ko Montessori, har ma da ilimin iyali.
Wata mahaifiya ta ba da shaida a kan dandalin: “A matsayina na mahaifiyar tagwaye, na shayar da su nono da farin ciki, a cikin abin da ake kira “wolf” matsayi, kwance a gefena a gado. Ya yi kyau kwarai da gaske. Haka na yi wa yarona na 3. Mijina yana goyon bayana a wannan tsari. Na gwada kullin jaririn, yana da kyau kuma yana kwantar da jarirai. "
Daga kulawar yara "Hanya mai wuya" zuwa "hypermaternates"
Aikin kusanci uwa ya bulla a fadin Tekun Atlantika. Ɗaya daga cikin manyan ƙididdiga shi ne likitan yara na Amurka William Sears, marubucin furcin "ilimin da aka haɗe". Wannan ra'ayi ya dogara ne akan ka'idar abin da aka makala ta hanyar John Bowlby, masanin ilimin halin dan Adam da ilimin halin dan Adam, wanda ya mutu a 1990. A gare shi, abin da aka makala yana daya daga cikin bukatu na farko na karamin yaro, kamar ci ko barci. Sai kawai lokacin da bukatunsa na kusanci ya biya, zai iya nisantar da iyayensa wanda ya ba shi damar bincika duniya. Shekaru goma sha biyar muna ganin canji : daga model advocating bar jariri kuka, ba shan shi a cikin gadonsa, mun sannu a hankali koma zuwa m Trend. Sayen jarirai, marigayi shayarwa ko yin barci tare suna da ƙarin mabiya.
Wata uwa ta ba da shaida ga aikace-aikacenta don ba da amsa ga ainihin hoton mahaifiyar mai uwa: “Sanya, i na yi, shayarwa kuma, barci a cikin jakar barci i, haka ma, da daddy da ni, gyale babu na gwammace in yi shi. a hannuna ko a cikin riga na. Don harshen kurame yana da na musamman, Naïss yana cikin kulake biyu "alama tare da hannunka" da na biyu "kananan hannaye", amma duk da haka ni ba kurma ba ne ko bebe. "
Biyan bukatun jarirai
Kwararre Claude Didier Jean Jouveau, tsohon shugaban kungiyar Leche League kuma marubucin litattafai da yawa kan shayarwa, tsawon shekaru ya fahimci kuma yana goyan bayan wadannan iyayen da ake kira "mahaifiyar mace". Ta bayyana cewa: “Wadannan iyaye mata suna biyan bukatun jarirai ne kawai na ɗauka da kuma ciyar da su bisa ga bukata. Ban fahimci wannan haramcin ba a Faransa yayin da a wasu ƙasashe duk ya zama kamar al'ada. " Ta ci gaba da cewa: “Sa’ad da aka haifi ɗan adam, mun san cewa ci gabansa bai cika ba. Masana ilimin ɗan adam suna kiransa "tsohon tayin mahaifa". Kamar dai an haifi jaririn ne da wuri duk da cewa a zahiri ya zo ƙarshe a cikin adadin makonnin da ke fama da rashin lafiya. Idan aka kwatanta da zuriyar dabbobi, jaririn ɗan adam zai buƙaci shekaru biyu a lokacin da zai sami 'yancin kai, yayin da ɗan jaro alal misali ya zama mai cin gashin kansa cikin sauri bayan haihuwa. "
Dauki jaririn ku, shayar da shi, saka shi akai-akai, kiyaye shi kusa da ku da dare… a gare ta, wannan kusancin uwa yana da mahimmanci har ma da mahimmanci. Kwararren bai fahimci rashin son wasu masana ba. , “Shekara ta farko tana bukatar ci gaba bayan samun ciki, dole ne jariri ya ji cewa mahaifiyarsa tana taimaka masa ya girma”.
Haɗarin hawan jini
Sylvain Missonnier, masanin ilimin psychoanalyst kuma farfesa a cikin ilimin halin dan Adam na asibiti na kulawar mahaifa a Jami'ar Paris-V-René-Descartes, an fi kiyaye shi sosai ta fuskar wannan matsananciyar uwa. A cikin littafinsa "Zama iyaye, ɗan adam da aka haifa. The kama-da-wane diagonal "wanda aka buga a 2009, ya fallasa wani ra'ayi: a gare shi, dole ne jariri ya rayu a jeregwaje-gwajen rabuwa as haihuwa, yaye, horar da bayan gida, waxanda su ne muhimman matakai don shirya yaro ya ɗauki ‘yancin kai. Wannan marubucin ya ɗauki misalin "fata zuwa fata" wanda aka yi tsayi da yawa, wanda aka yi la'akari da shi a matsayin birki a kan ainihin koyo na jarirai, na rabuwa. A gare shi, tsarin ilimi ba zai iya kasancewa ba tare da gwada waɗannan rarrabuwa ba. Wasu ayyuka kuma suna gabatar da haɗarin jiki. Yin barci alal misali, wanda ke ƙara haɗarin mutuwa kwatsam lokacin da jaririn yake kwance a gadon iyaye. Faransa Katafaren Society ta tuna a kan wannan batu da kyau ayyuka na barci jarirai: a baya, a wani barci jakar da kuma a cikin wani gado kamar yadda komai kamar yadda zai yiwu a kan wani m katifa. Masana sun kuma damu game da 'yan lokuta na mutuwar kwatsam da suka faru yayin da yaron ya kasance a cikin majajjawa.
Wasu iyaye mata suna ba da shaida da ƙwazo a kan waɗannan ayyuka a kan dandalin tattaunawa kuma ba kawai don haɗarin haɗari na haɗin gwiwa ba: "Ban yi irin wannan hanyar ba har ma da ƙasa da" barci tare ". Don sanya yaro ya kwanta a gado ɗaya da iyaye shine a ba yara munanan halaye. Kowa yana da gadonsa, diyata tana da nata mu kuma muna da namu. Ina ganin yana da kyau a kiyaye kusancin ma'aurata. Ina ganin kalmar uwa ta ban mamaki, domin wannan kalmar gaba daya ta cire daddy kuma yana daya daga cikin dalilan da yasa ban shayar da nono ba. "
Matsayin mata a cikin hawan jini
Wannan batu ba lallai ba ne ya haifar da tambayoyi game da sakamakon wadannan ayyuka, wadanda ke da tasiri ga iyaye mata, a kan karin matsayi na mata. Su waye uwaye da suka yaudare su m uwa ? Wasu daga cikinsu sun gama karatun digiri kuma sau da yawa sun bar aikin duniya suna bin a hutun haihuwa. Suna bayyana yadda yake da wahala a gare su su daidaita rayuwar danginsu tare da ƙwararrun ƙwararrun ƙwararrun ƙwararrun ƙwararrun ƙwararrun ƙwararrun ƙwararrun ƙwararrun ƙwararrun hangen nesa na uwa tare da sauran ayyuka. Shin wannan mataki ne na baya kamar yadda Elisabeth Badinter ta yi iƙirari a littafinta mai suna "Rikicin: mace da uwa" da aka buga a 2010? Masanin falsafa ya kalubalanci a maganganu na amsawa wanda ya kebanta mata da matsayinsu na uwa, da misali abin da take ganin dikta ne game da shayarwa. Masanin falsafa don haka ya yi tir da samfurin uwaye mai cike da buri, takurawa, da wajibai ga mata.
Lallai muna iya tambayar kanmu har ya kai wadannan “masu karuwai” iyaye mata ba sa neman tserewa daga duniyar aiki da ake ganin cewa yana da damuwa kuma ba shi da lada sosai, wanda kuma ba ya la’akari da matsayinsu na uwa yadda ya kamata. Mahaifiyar mace mai girma ta samu ta hanya a matsayin mafaka a cikin duniya cikin rikici da cike da rashin tabbas.