Wani lokaci ma ba lallai ne ku yi hasashe ba: kallon gayyata ko tausasawa yana magana da kansa. Amma wani lokacin mukan ruɗe. Bugu da ƙari, fahimtar ya fi wuya ga maza fiye da mata.
Har zuwa kwanan nan, masu ilimin halin dan Adam kawai suna sha'awar yanayin kwanan wata na farko. Ta yaya daidai maza da mata «karanta» sha'awar (ko rashin sha'awar) na m abokin tarayya. Tsammani a kowane yanayi shi ne cewa maza yawanci suna ƙididdige shirin mace don yin jima'i.
Marubutan binciken sun fassara wannan sakamakon daga mahangar ilimin tunanin juyin halitta. Yana da mahimmanci kada mutum ya rasa damar yin jima'i da abokin tarayya da ya dace kuma ya bar zuriya fiye da sanin ko tana son jima'i. Shi ya sa sukan yi kuskuren wuce gona da iri kan sha’awar abokin zamansu a farkon saduwar su.
Masanin ilimin halayyar dan adam Amy Muse na Kanada tare da abokan aikinta sun tashi don gwada ko wannan sake dubawa ya ci gaba da kasancewa a cikin dangantaka mai ƙarfi, na dogon lokaci. Sun gudanar da bincike guda uku da suka shafi ma'aurata 48 masu shekaru daban-daban (daga shekaru 23 zuwa 61) kuma sun gano cewa mazan da ke cikin wannan yanayin ma sun fi yin kuskure - amma yanzu suna raina sha'awar abokin tarayya.
Kuma mata, a gaba ɗaya, sun fi gane sha'awar maza da kyau, wato, ba su da sha'awar raini ko ƙima da sha'awar abokin tarayya.
Yayin da namiji ke jin tsoron a ki yarda da shi, zai fi iya raina sha'awar abokin tarayya.
A cewar Amy Muse, wannan za a iya bayyana da cewa a cikin data kasance ma'aurata, underestimating sha'awar mace ba ya ƙyale mutum ya huta da kuma complacently «huta a kan laurels», amma motivates shi ya tattara da kuma yi jihãdi tada wani. sha'awar juna a cikin abokin tarayya. Yana k'ara k'ok'arin kunna wuta, ya lallaba ta. Kuma yana da kyau ga dangantakar, in ji Amy Mewes.
Mace ta ji na musamman, abin sha'awa don haka ta fi jin dadi, kuma haɗin kai ga abokin tarayya yana ƙarfafawa.
Maza suna raina sha'awar abokin tarayya saboda tsoron kin amincewa da ita. Da zarar mutum yana tsoron kada a ƙi shi a cikin sha'awarsa, da zarar ya yi ƙoƙari ya raina sha'awar jima'i na abokin tarayya.
Wannan shi ne irin wannan reinsurance wanda ba a sani ba wanda ke ba ka damar kauce wa hadarin ƙin yarda, wanda yana da mummunar tasiri akan dangantaka. Duk da haka, bayanin kula Amy Muse, wani lokacin sha'awar abokin tarayya da mace suna kuskure a cikin hanya guda - a matsayin mai mulkin, waɗanda ke da babban libido.
Ya bayyana cewa raina sha'awar abokin tarayya yana da amfani ga kwanciyar hankali ma'aurata. A lokaci guda kuma, bincike ya nuna cewa, lokacin da ma'auratan biyu suka yi daidai "karanta" sha'awar juna, wannan kuma yana kawo musu gamsuwa kuma yana ƙarfafa haɗin gwiwa a cikin ma'aurata.