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Happy taron kamar yadda rashin kwanciyar hankali, Haihuwar yaro sau da yawa a m lokaci ga ma'aurata: 20 zuwa 25% na su za su rabu bayan 'yan watanni, a cewar likitan kwakwalwa Bernard Geberowicz. "Mu zagiwani abu, amma mu hasarar Har ila yau, wani abu dabam: 'yancinsa, rashin kulawarsa ... Kowa ya ce maka: "Dole ne ku yi farin ciki sosai!", yayin da, ga wasu ma'aurata, yana da kyau. lokacin kalubale, inda gardama ke ɗaukar sarari da yawa, ”in ji Carolle Vidal-Graf masanin ilimin halayyar dan adam. Da wuya a yi rayuwa tare da su, waɗannan gardama sun zama dole: a cikin a lokacin canzawa, suna guje wa haɓakar bacin rai kuma suna ba da izinin kafawa gyare-gyare masu amfani. A wani hali: jayayya mai inganci, guji maimaita kalamai masu cutarwa waɗanda galibi suna lalata dangantakar…
Bayyana motsin zuciyar ku
Rigima ba wai tana nufin ihu da ruga kofa ba! Maimakon a zargi wani. yi ƙoƙarin bayyana motsin rai wanda ke zaune a cikin ku (fushi, bakin ciki…). "Dole ne mu guje wa" ku "wanda" ya kashe ", in ji masanin ilimin halin dan Adam. Maimakon "kun kasance cikin rikici", amfani da "I" : “Ban saba rayuwa a cikin irin wannan hali ba, idan na dawo gida daga wurin aiki, yana sanya ni cikin damuwa…” Wani lokaci akwai rashin lafiya. ambaton motsin rai, ba za mu iya bayyana kanmu ba, muna bukatar mu bar tururi kadan, don matsawa… "Zamu iya yin yawo sosai, idan dai kun yi gargadi:" Ina jin tsoro don yin magana, zan fita don kwantar da hankali kuma za mu yi magana game da shi daga baya "..." , in ji Carolle Vidal- Graf.
Ɗauki ɗan nesa kaɗan
Sau da yawa jayayya tana farawa da kalmar rashin tausayi cewa kunna foda kuma yana haifar da haɓaka: a ɗayan, kwakwalwar mai rarrafe (wanda ke da alaƙa da ilhami) yana jin an kai masa hari kuma kwakwalwar limbic (mai alaƙa da motsin rai) ya amsa… ɗauki ɗan nesa kaɗan idan aka kwatanta da motsin rai ta hanyar yin magana tare da cortex, mafi mahimmancin ɓangaren kwakwalwa, yana ba da shawara ga mai ilimin halin dan Adam. Dubi ɗayan kuma da dauki mataki baya kuma ka same shi kyakkyawa cikin fushinsa: ta wata hanya, yana nuna mana ikonsa…”.
Ku tattauna muhawararku cikin sanyin jiki
“Yaya kuka yi da rigingimu a cikin danginku? "," Menene matsayin ku? "," Ta yaya za mu yi ƙoƙarin yin jayayya mafi kyau? »Tambayar juna game da waɗannan tambayoyin zai iya taimakawa wajen gani sosai, don fahimtar yadda muna sake yin aiki wanda kwanan wata tun daga ƙuruciya… da kuma yadda za mu iya inganta shi. Hakanan yana da amfani don dawowa - cikin sanyi - ga batutuwan rikice-rikice. "Kadan kadan, abin da muka fada wa juna ya yi tasiri, ko da muna da tunanin cewa, a lokacin, ɗayan ba ya sauraronmu ... Wani lokaci dole ne ku sani. rufe rigimar da ta ta'azzara, don dawowa daga baya, a sanyaye, bayan kowanne yana tunanin kansa. Ya rage ga kowane ma'aurata su nemo sulhu, mafita mai ƙirƙira, amma ba koyaushe kuke samun daidai lokacin farko ba, ”in ji Carolle Vidal-Graf.
Kuna kuma magana game da abin da ke faruwa da kyau!
Make compliments, ce na gode, dauki lokaci zuwa a kuma tattauna abin da ke tafiya da kyau… “Yana da mahimmanci kuma a gabatar da su Godiya da kuma valorization a cikin haɗin gwiwa da abokin tarayya… maimakon yin magana kawai game da abin da ba daidai ba, ”in ji masanin ilimin halin dan Adam. Idan kuka lura da ƙoƙarin mijinku akan abin da yake ɗaya daga cikin abubuwan da kuke jayayya, zai so ya ƙara yin hakan… Yin waɗannan gardama na iya, a ƙarshe, zai taimake ku ku ji daɗi. karin m a cikin dangantakar ku. Lokacin da sabon yanki na tashin hankali ya taso, za ku tuna da wannan m nassi, kuma za ku iya ce wa kanku, cewa wannan karon kuma, za ku yi nasara!
“Dole ku san yadda ake neman gafara! "
A farkon auren mu muka tafi kamar madara a kan wuta, ba ta da amfani sosai. A yau, mun koyi tsayawa kafin abin ya tsananta, kada mu faɗi duk abin da muke tunani lokacin da muke tunani. Yana barin kashe tururi nan take, amma a ƙarshe yana jin zafi fiye da kyau. Zai fi kyau a yi magana game da shi daga baya, sanyi, a cikin lokacin sanyi, kuma gano alamu da lokuta (danniya da ke da alaƙa da aiki, gajiya…) waɗanda ke haifar da jayayya. Kalmar da ba mu ɗauke ta da cutarwa ba, ɗayan na iya karɓar ta ta wannan hanyar, don haka dole ne mu san yadda za mu nemi gafarar cutarwar da muka yi masa… ko da a zahiri, ba ma jin cewa ba mu da laifi!
Sofia, yayi aure shekara 22, yara 5