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Dukanmu mun bambanta, amma, muna zaune kusa da abokin tarayya, muna daidaitawa kuma muna ba da juna. Yaya mafi kyau don jin abin da ƙaunataccen yake bukata kuma samun jituwa a cikin dangantaka? Muna ba da ayyuka huɗu na wasanni waɗanda zasu taimaka muku gano ma'aunin kusanci da abokin tarayya kuma ku zauna tare cikin farin ciki har abada.
Dangantaka aiki ne. Amma zaka iya sanya shi sauƙi da jin daɗi. Masana ilimin halayyar dan adam Anne Sauzed-Lagarde da Jean-Paul Sauzed suna ba da motsa jiki don taimaka muku fahimtar juna da fahimtar juna da kyau.
Lambar motsa jiki 1. Madaidaicin nisa
Ayyukan shine jin nisan da ya fi dacewa da kowane abokin tarayya da ma'aurata gaba daya.
- Tsaya baya da baya tare da abokin tarayya. Huta kuma ku ba da sha'awar motsawa cikin 'yanci. Wace rawa za ta gudana a tsakanin ku? Ta yaya mutum zai ci gaba da wannan motsi tare da abokin tarayya? Ina wuraren tallafi, kuma menene, akasin haka, ke barazanar faɗuwa?
- Tsaya fuska da fuska taki goma. Juya baya shiru kusa da abokin tarayya. Matsa a hankali don samun daidai tazarar lokacin da kuke kusa da juna sosai. Wani lokaci mataki ɗaya, ƙarami kaɗan gaba ko baya ya isa jin nisan da kusancin ya riga ya zama nauyi, kuma akasin haka: lokacin da nisa ke ba ku damar jin rabuwar ku.
- Yi motsa jiki iri ɗaya, amma wannan lokacin duka biyu suna motsawa zuwa juna. ƙoƙarin jin nisa daidai a cikin biyunku kuma ku tuna cewa wannan nisa yana nuna halin ku daidai "a nan da yanzu".
Lambar motsa jiki 2. Layin rayuwa na biyu
A kan babban takarda, zana, ɗaya bayan ɗaya, layin rayuwar ma'auratanku. Yi tunani game da siffar da kuke ba da wannan layin.
A ina aka fara kuma a ina ya ƙare?
Ku rubuta a saman wannan layin abubuwan da suka faru a tarihin ma'auratanku. Hakanan zaka iya amfani da hoto, kalma, tabo mai launi don wakiltar maki daban-daban waɗanda kuke jin sun jagoranci (ko rashin fahimta) rayuwarku tare.
Sa'an nan kuma ku ɗauki lokaci don kwatanta layin rayuwa na ma'auratanku da kuka zana daban, kuma yanzu ku yi ƙoƙari ku zana wannan layi tare.
Lambar motsa jiki 3. Ma'aurata cikakke
Menene manufa biyunku? Wanene a gare ku a cikin kusancin ku ko a cikin jama'a ya zama abin koyi na ma'aurata masu nasara? Wadanne ma'aurata kuke so ku zama?
Ga kowane ɗayan waɗannan nau'ikan, rubuta akan takarda abubuwa biyar da kuke so ko abubuwa biyar waɗanda ba ku so. Ɗauki lokaci don yin magana da abokin tarayya don aiwatar da wannan samfurin (ko ƙididdiga). Kuma ga yadda kuke gudanar da daidaita shi.
Lambar motsa jiki 4. Tafiya a makance
Daya daga cikin abokan aikin an rufe ido. Ya ƙyale na biyu ya ɗauke shi yawo a cikin lambu ko kewayen gida. Babban abokin tarayya na iya ba da ayyuka na mabiyi don hangen nesa (don taɓa tsire-tsire, abubuwa) ko don motsi (hawan hawa, gudu, tsalle, daskarewa a wuri). Bayar da lokaci guda ga kowa da kowa a matsayin mai gudanarwa, minti 20 ya fi dacewa. Yana da kyau a yi wannan motsa jiki a waje.
A ƙarshen wannan darasi, tabbatar da yin magana game da abin da kowannenku ya dandana kuma ya ji. Wannan aiki ne akan dogara ga abokin tarayya, amma kuma akan ra'ayinmu na abin da ɗayan yake bukata daga gare mu ko abin da yake so. Kuma a ƙarshe, wannan lokaci ne don sanin ra'ayoyin da kuke da shi game da abokin tarayya: "Mijina yana da ƙarfi, wanda ke nufin zan sa shi gudu ko ya ratsa cikin daji." Kodayake a gaskiya mijin yana jin tsoro, kuma yana shan wahala ...
Wadannan darussan ana ba da su ta hanyar masana ilimin halin dan adam Anne Sauzed-Lagarde da Jean-Paul Sauzed a cikin littafin «Creating a Lasting Couple» (A. Sauzède-Lagarde, J.-P. Sauzède «Créer un couple m», InterÉditions, 2011).