A cikin dangin mutane masu guba, Ina neman masu wuce gona da iri! Yana da wahala a ayyana saboda cike da sabani, mutane masu tsaurin ra'ayi suna da guba ga wasu. Yaya mutane masu son zuciya suke hali? Mene ne m zalunci boye? Me za a yi da halin m-m? Amsa.

Ba'amurke mai ilimin hauka, Kanar Menninger ne ya ƙirƙira kalmar "m-tauye" a lokacin yakin duniya na biyu. Ya lura cewa wasu sojoji sun ƙi yin biyayya ga umarnin amma ba su nuna ba da baki ko cikin fushi. Madadin haka, sun nuna ɗabi'a na son rai don isar da saƙonsu: jinkiri, ragewa, rashin tasiri… Waɗannan sojojin ba su nuna niyyarsu ta faɗi “a'a” a sarari ba. Wannan shi ake kira tawaye da abin rufe fuska. 

Da farko da aka jera a matsayin rashin lafiyar mutum a cikin DSM (Diagnostics and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), an cire matsalolin rashin ƙarfi daga cikin Manual a cikin 1994. Amma gaskiyar ta kasance cewa waɗannan mutane na iya zama tushen manyan matsalolin dangantaka a wurin aiki, a cikin soyayya, a cikin dangi ko a cikin abota, kamar kowace cuta ta hali. Lallai, fuskantar wani m-m wanda ya ce "eh" amma wanda a zahiri yana tunanin "a'a", ba mu san yadda za mu mayar da martani ba. Koyaushe ƙin mika kai ga hukuma amma ba tare da faɗin hakan a sarari ba, mutane masu tsaurin ra'ayi suna haifar da fushi da rashin fahimta a cikin masu shiga tsakani. Baya ga wannan ƙin biyayya da aka ɓoye:

• Inkari. Mutane masu zafin rai ba sa gane halinsu.
• Karya. 
• Tsayayya don canzawa.
• Cin zarafi. 
• Jin zalunci.
• Sukar wasu.
• Social passivity. 

Ba a haife mu m-m, mun zama shi. Dole ne mu bambanta tsakanin halaye na rashin son zuciya, waɗanda dukkanmu za mu iya yin amfani da su a wasu yanayi, daga mutane masu tsaurin ra'ayi, waɗanda suke dindindin saboda suna danne matsalolin tunani masu zurfi. Don haka, abubuwa da yawa na iya haifar da tashin hankali:

• Tsoron rikici.
• Tsoron canji. Wannan yana sanya sabbin ka'idoji waɗanda masu tsaurin ra'ayi za su ƙaddamar da su. 
• Rashin girman kai da yarda da kai wanda ke bayyana kanta a cikin ƙara yawan haɗari. Daga inda wasiyyar ba za ta je arangama don gujewa duk wani zargi ba.
• Girma a cikin iyali da ba shi da iko don haka iyaka ko akasin haka a cikin dangin da ba a yarda da nuna fushi da takaici ba, saboda wani mutum mai tsananin iko. 
• Paranoia. Jin kullun ana kai hari da wasu na iya yin bayanin wannan tsarin tsaro na tsare-tsare.

Hanya mafi kyau don yin mu'amala da mai zafin rai ita ce tafiya tare da gishiri… Da yawan iko da nacewa kuna tare da shi, ƙarancin biyayyarsa.

A wurin aiki, yi ƙoƙari sosai don kada ku ɓata ko ɓata wa abokin aikinku rashin jin daɗi saboda su, ba kamar ku ba, za su yi wahalar jurewa da su kuma a cikin martani ba za su so yin aiki tare da ku ba. Domin Christophe André, likitan hauka kuma marubucin littafin "Ina tsayayya da mutane masu guba (da sauran kwari)", Ya fi dacewa, tare da m-m, don"ko da yaushe girmama siffofin, tambaye shi ga kowane yanke shawara ko kowace shawara". Gaskiyar jin amfani zai dawo masa da amincewar kansa. Har ila yau, maimakon bar shi ya yi ta yin kuka a cikin kusurwar sa, mafi kyau "ƙarfafa shi ya nuna abin da ba daidai ba". Mutane masu tsaurin ra'ayi suna buƙatar tabbaci da horo don bayyana buƙatunsu, fushi da takaici. Duk da haka, kada ka bari ka fuskanci ƙin yin biyayya. Yi tsammanin ƙaramin girmamawa daga wannan mutumin kuma ku fahimtar da su cewa halinsu na rashin son zuciya yana da matsala a cikin dangantakarsu da wasu. Sau da yawa, mutane masu son zuciya ba sa gane cewa sun kasance, sai wata rana sun gane cewa ƙwararrun ƙwararrunsu, soyayya, abokantaka ko danginsu ba su da matsala kuma wataƙila sun sami wani abu da shi. tunda ana maimaita irin wannan sifofin halaka a rayuwarsu. A wannan yanayin, ana iya la'akari da taimakon ƙwararrun ƙwararru kuma yana da amfani don kawar da waɗannan halayen da suka wuce kima.