Don yin nasara a rayuwa, dole ne… Zama shahara? Yi aiki don samun ƙarin kuɗi? Noma lambun kayan lambu? Menene zabin rayuwa da ke sa mu farin ciki ? Farfesa Robert Waldinger na Jami'ar Harvard (Massachusetts) yana da madaidaicin ra'ayi. A ƙarshen 2015, ya bayyana a yayin taron TED wanda miliyoyin masu amfani da Intanet suka kalli Ƙarshen binciken na musamman.

Tsawon shekaru 75, ƙarni da yawa na masu bincike sun yi nazarin rayuwar maza 724 a Amurka. « Nazarin Harvard akan Ci gaban Adult watakila shine mafi dadewa na nazarin rayuwar balagagge har abada." Farfesa Waldinger ya ci gaba.

An fara shi duka a cikin 1938, lokacin da aka zaɓi ƙungiyoyi biyu na matasa da matasa daga Boston. Daya ya kunshidaliban shahararriyar jami'ar Harvard, yayin da dayan ya fito daga unguwannin mai hasara sosai daga gari. "Waɗannan matasa sun girma […] sun zama ma'aikata, lauyoyi, mason, likitoci, ɗayansu Shugaban Amurka [John F. Kennedy]. Wasu sun zama mashaya. Wasu schizophrenics. Wasu sun yi ya hau matakin zamantakewa daga kasa zuwa sama, wasu kuma sun zo ta wata hanya » ya danganta masanin kimiyya.

“Waɗanne darussa ne ke fitowa daga dubun-dubatar bayanan da muka tattara game da waɗannan rayuwar? To darussan ba akan su bane dukiya, ko suna, ko aiki. " A'a, bisa ga binciken binciken, samun gamsuwa na rayuwa yana cikin abin da kowa zai iya kaiwa.  

Darasi na 1: Kewaye kanku

Rayuwa cikin farin ciki ya fi kowa gata dangantakar zamantakewa “Mutanen da ke da alaƙa da dangi, abokai, al'umma, suna farin ciki, suna da koshin lafiya, kuma suna rayuwa fiye da waɗanda ba su da alaƙa. ” ya bayyana mai binciken. A cikin 2008, INSEE (Cibiyar Ƙididdiga da Nazarin Tattalin Arziki ta Ƙasa) ita ma ta tabbatar a cikin wani rahoto cewa rayuwar ma'aurata tana da tasiri mai kyau a cikin rayuwa. 

Sabanin haka, jin kadaici kullum zai kasance "Mai guba". Mutanen da aka keɓe ba kawai ba su fi farin ciki ba, amma lafiyarsu da iyawar fahimi su ma suna raguwa da sauri. a takaice "Loneliness yana kashe". Kuma a zahiri, a cewar masana ilimin kimiyyar jijiyoyin jiki, gogewar warewar zamantakewa yana kunna bangarorin kwakwalwa iri ɗaya… zafi jiki¹.

Ku ba da za ku karɓa

Masu bincike sun nuna cewa ɗaukar a hali ya juya zuwa ga ɗayan yana ƙara jin daɗi a cikin yara da manya, ba tare da la'akari da ƙungiyar zamantakewa ba. Tuna a kyauta cewa sun yi, alal misali, ya sanya mahalarta nazarin farin ciki. Sun fi yiwuwa su sake kashe kuɗi a kan kyauta bayan wannan ƙwarewar².

A wani binciken kuma, masu bincike sun duba kwakwalwar mutanen da suka yi ba da gudummawar kuɗi ga ƙungiya sadaka³. Sakamakon: ko mun bayar ko mun karɓi kuɗi, shine yanki guda na kwakwalwa wanda ke kunnawa! Don zama madaidaici, yankin da ake magana ya zama mafi aiki lokacin da batutuwa suka ba da kuɗi fiye da lokacin da suka karɓa. Wane bangare na kwakwalwa muke magana akai? Daga ventral striatum, wani yanki na subcortical da ke da alaƙa da lada da jin dadi cikin dabbobi masu shayarwa.

Darasi na 2: Kiyaye Dangantaka Mai Kyau

Bai isa a kewaye da kai don yin farin ciki ba, kuma ya zama dole mu zama mutanen kirki. "Ba yawan abokanka ba ne kawai, ko kana cikin dangantaka ko a'a, amma yana da ingancin dangantakarku ta kusa wa ke kirga" ya taƙaita Robert Waldinger.

Kuna tsammanin kun tsira daga kadaici tare da abokanka 500 Facebook ? Wani bincike na 2013 da Ethan Kross da abokan aiki a Jami'ar Michigan suka yi ya nuna cewa yawancin batutuwan da ke da alaƙa da sadarwar zamantakewa, da yawa sun kasance m⁴. Ƙarshe wanda ya sami babban gwarzon Palo Alto da za a bayyana shi Cibiyar “anti-social” a cikin kafofin watsa labarai daban -daban. Mun sani tun 2015 cewa gaskiyar ta fi dabara. Haka masu binciken suka ƙaddara cewa wucewa ce akan Facebook wanda ke da alaƙa da ƙarancin yanayi. Don haka babu haɗarin ɓacin rai lokacin da kuke hulɗa da abokanka akan hanyar sadarwa.

mafi kyau kadai fiye da a cikin wani mugun kamfani

Robert Waldinger ya jaddada wani muhimmin bangare na alaƙa, rashin rikice-rikice « Auren rikice -rikice, alal misali, ba tare da so ba, yana da illa ga lafiyarmu, wataƙila ma ya fi kisan aure muni ”. Don rayuwa cikin farin ciki da koshin lafiya, mafi kyau kadai fiye da a cikin wani mugun kamfani.

Don tabbatar da ko sanannen hikima tana faɗin gaskiya, ƙungiyar bincike ta dogara da ɗaya daga cikin halayen farin ciki⁵. Mun san cewa mutane masu farin ciki suna da iyawa mafi girma fiye da mutanen da ke baƙin ciki ci gaba da ingantaccen motsin rai. Don haka masu binciken sun sanya wayoyin lantarki a fuskokin masu aikin sa kai 116 don auna tsawon lokacin murmushin su biyo bayan ingantattun abubuwan motsa jiki. Da tsari, idan wayoyin lantarki suna bayyana murmushin da ya daɗe, za mu iya tunanin cewa batun yana ba da babban fa'ida, kuma akasin haka. Sakamakon ya nuna cewa an fallasa mutane rikice -rikice akai -akai a cikin ma'auratan da aka gabatar gajerun martani ga motsin zuciyar kirki. Matsayin jin daɗin su, a zahiri, ya yi ƙasa.

Darasi na 3: yi farin cikin tsufa mafi kyau

Farfesa Waldinger ya gano na uku” darasin rayuwa ”Ta hanyar dubawa sosai kan bayanan likitanci na maza a cikin binciken ya biyo bayan shekaru 75. Tare da tawagarsa, sun nemi abubuwan da zasu iya hango tsufa mai farin ciki da lafiya. "Ba matakin cholesterol ɗinsu ba a wancan shekarun ya annabta yadda za su tsufa" taƙaita mai bincike. "Mutanen da suka fi gamsuwa a cikin dangantakar su a 50 sun kasance suna cikin koshin lafiya suna da shekaru 80. "

Ba wai kawai kyakkyawar dangantaka ta sa mu farin ciki ba, amma suna da a ainihin m tasiri a kan lafiya. Ta hanyar inganta haƙuri zuwa zafi misali “Ma’auratan da suka fi farin ciki maza da mata sun ba da rahoton, kusan shekaru 80, cewa a kwanakin da zafin jiki ya fi girma, yanayin su ya kasance kamar farin ciki. Amma mutanen da ba su da farin ciki a cikin dangantakar su, a kwanakin da suka ba da rahoton mafi yawan ciwon jiki, ya fi muni ta hanyar jin zafi. "

Dangantaka mai sarkakiya ba wai kawai tana kare jikinmu bane, in ji likitan hauka "Suna kuma kare kwakwalwarmu". Daga cikin mahalarta binciken 724, waɗanda ke cikin dangantaka mai gamsarwa suna da mémoire "Kaifi" Yawan lokaci. Akasin haka “Wadanda ke cikin dangantaka da jin rashin iya dogaro da junansu sun ga ƙwaƙwalwar ajiyar su ta ragu. ” 

Mun san tun wayewar zamani an raba farin ciki. To me yasa muke samun wahalar amfani da shi a kullum? “To mu mutane ne. Abin da muke so shine gyara mai sauƙi, wani abu da zamu iya samu wanda zai sa rayuwar mu tayi kyau. Dangantaka tana da rikitarwa kuma tana da rikitarwa, kuma manne wa dangi da abokai ba sexy bane ko kyawu. "

A ƙarshe, likitan kwakwalwa ya zaɓi ya faɗi marubuci Mark Twain wanda ya faɗi a cikin wasiƙa ga aboki, a cikin 1886 “Ba mu da lokaci - gajeriyar rayuwa ce - don yin jayayya, neman gafara, ƙiyayya da daidaita maki. Muna da lokacin soyayya kawai kuma ɗan lokaci kaɗan, don yin magana, yi shi. "